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Tuesday 6 August 2019

English Term Three 2019 essay


       
    
                  Fizzy drinks


           obesity rate?  Fizzy drinks are not good for you they will make you so obese.
It is so bad for you. I think it is a bad idea to have a fizzy drink option in the drinking fountain at schools
. Because the obesity rate is already so high.  that having fizzy drinks at schools will bring the rate up more.   
    
         
         The Obesity rate is high enough already and new Zealand is 22nd in the country
with a percentage of 30.8 are obesie in new Zealand.
Fizzy drinks don’t help the obesity rate at all because drinking a whole bottle of fizzy will make you obese.
And the same with it being in Drinking fountains too that will also make you obese too. 


            Fizzy drinks are not healthy for you, because fizzy drinks are full of sugar and etc it also can cause liver damage,
“Drinking high amounts of sugar sweetened beverages such as soda can have various adverse impacts on your health
such as tooth decay to a higher risk of heart disease and metabolic disorders
like type 2 diabetes”.  This is from the Healthline website.

2 comments:

  1. Hi,
    I think you have good point I like the bit where you mention about obesity and how it will people and the data about it. I think you need to improve on your grammar e.g new Zealand should be New Zealand because it is a country ,and also when it comes to the word "because" it is still apart of the sentence, other than that I think you did good.

    Thanks,
    Meagan

    ReplyDelete
  2. Neat post, Josh!
    It's great that you supported your opinion with facts and examples.
    I was surprised to read how many people suffer from obesity in New Zealand.
    To improve the end of your writing, you should include an imperative statement (this TELLS the reader what you want them to DO. E.g. "Ban plastic bags today!")

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